Worth it
by tnsfreak
Summary: Thirteen has a crush on Cameron, but she is afraid to act on it. What happens when she is stuck with the blonde and her feelings get stronger. Will this love be worth the risk?
1. Chapter 1

AN: This is my first story I have ever written for Fanfiction so if it sucks feel free to tell me and all constructive criticism is welcome.

Its 6:30 in the morning and I'm already dressed and ready for work. Why? , Because I'm a coward. I'm afraid of running into her again. Every time I see her I act like an idiot and I get nervous my palms start to sweat. It wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't so out of character for me. I'm the calm cool mysterious number 13. No one can get close to me and I like it that way if no one gets close I can't lose them like I lost my mother. But I can't help but love how she looks in her pink shrubs with her hair pulled back, and there is something in her eyes that makes me want to tell her everything and give her my soul. I would never have the courage to do that though, because with my luck I would let her in and she would break my heart. So here I am leaving for work long before I have to be just so I can avoid seeing her, even though every time I get a glimpse of her my heart pounds in my chest and I ache to be with the beautiful Allison Cameron.

Driving to work this early has its perks. There are fewer people on the road and the drive takes less time. I arrive at PPTH an hour before I have to be and as I walk to the front doors calm and confident I hear footsteps behind me. I don't turn around though because if I do I would risk having to talk to whoever it is and I'm not very good at conversations. The more I interact the more people learn about me. The more they learn the closer they get and I can't risk someone getting close and leaving. I reach the front doors and as I walk in I notice that the footsteps seemed to have gotten closer. I chance a look as I open the door and I see the very person I am trying to avoid. _Well it was worth a shot._


	2. Chapter 2

"Good morning, Dr. Hadley. You're here early. "I stood frozen as she walked in front of me into the hospital. _At least I'm holding the door open for her so it doesn't seem like I'm standing here staring at her. Which is exactly what I'm doing, but she can't know that. Oh crap she's waiting for a response. SPEAK THIRTEEN SPEAK! _"Yeah, I uh woke up earlier than usual couldn't go back to sleep, thought I'd come in early. Freak the boys out some." _Nice little ramble Thirteen real smooth. _ "Well do you have work to do or would you like to grab a little breakfast with me? It would be nice to have someone to talk to instead of sitting by myself in the corner."_ Did she just ask me to breakfast? I must be dreaming._ "Sure, lead the way." The words fell out of my mouth before I could stop them and before I knew it I was sitting across of the most beautiful doctor in the hospital. I wanted to throw up, jump for joy, and flee the scene all at once. As I ate my bagel I noticed Cameron kept staring at me and I just knew I had bagel all over my face. Finally I met her gaze and she just started to giggle. "What?" I wiped my face with my napkin and checked my hair looking for the reason behind her giggling. "I'm sorry Thirteen, you just look so nervous and I just think it's so cute." I could feel myself blush at her comment. "I…I'm not nervous. Why would I be nervous?" A grin came across her face and I knew she could tell I was nervous but I had no reason to be or at least one that she was aware of. She looked at me for a little longer before her grin turned into a genuine smile and she reached out and put her hand on top of mine. "You have no reason to be nervous Thirteen. I promise." I sat there watching as she walked away from the table and out of the cafeteria. I soon realized where I was and quickly composed myself and started off toward the elevators.

The rest of the day I couldn't help but think about Cameron. Did she know I had a crush on her? Did she like me too? It all seemed impossible, but regardless of what happened or what could happen I had no intention of letting it go any farther. I would avoid Cameron at all costs. If I caught a glimpse of her I would turn the other way no matter what I can't get close to Allison Cameron. My thoughts were cut off by the sound of a cane being slammed down on the table in front of me and I tried not to react when I saw all the men in the room had their eyes on me. "It seems daddy's little bisexual has something on her mind. What is it thirty-one? Is it the new ER nurse? Planning to seduce her with you bisexual charm?" "Actually I was thinking about how Cuddy looked in her new red thong." Just as I finished my sentence the dean herself walked into the office but she didn't seem to have heard me. My comment had managed to grasp House's attention because he leaned over to take a closer look at the dean's derriere then glanced back at me and I had a smirk waiting for him._ At least he's not trying to figure me out now._ The smirk soon fell from my face though when my named was called and Cuddy asked me to step into the hall with her_. Maybe she had heard after all. _

"What can I do for you Dr. Cuddy?" "You had breakfast with Dr. Cameron this morning?" I nodded a little worried about where she was going with this. "She is in charge of decorating for the hospitals fundraiser at the Hilton tonight and it seems the volunteers aren't going to be around to help her. I need you to go over to the Hilton and help Cameron with whatever she needs." I started to protest but was cut off. "It's not an option. Gather your things and make your way over there. When the decorating is done you can go home and get ready for the fundraiser." Cuddy walked away without another word. I walked back into the room and all eyes were once again on me so I decided to mess with them a little more. "Booty call, I won't be back. See you all at the fundraiser. _This should be fun._


	3. Chapter 3

I walked out of the hospital as normal as I could but the second I got in my car and on the road my nerves took over. Instead of butterflies in my stomach I had a swarm of bees and my cool attitude was lost. _ What do I do? I just decided for the second time to avoid her and for the second time I'm thrown together with her. _I took a deep breath to try to calm myself. It didn't work. As I got closer to the Hilton my heart was pounding. I spend 20 minutes in the parking lot trying to calm myself down but I ended up freaking myself out more. Finally I decided it's now or never. I would have preferred never but got out of the car anyway. Once I found out where Cameron was I took another deep breath and started toward her. As I walked into the room my breath caught in my throat. Cameron had changed out of her scrubs and into a pair of tight jeans and a tank top it didn't seem like much but my god to me she looked like a super model_._ She must have felt someone staring because she looked up and when she realized it was me a smile came across her face. Knowing that I caused her to smile like that was enough to kill my nerves. At least until she started toward me then they came back from the dead with a vengeance. "Hey Thirteen." I gave a barely audible hello and she just kept smiling. Her stare got to be too much for me and I had to speak up. "Cuddy sent me to help so what do I need to do?" "Well, since you're a little taller than me I bet you can hang the banner. I'm not quite tall enough even with a ladder you'll be perfect." It didn't seem like too hard of a task so I walked over. Upon further investigation however I realized that the ladder wasn't very stable as it was just leaning against the wall. I should have asked Cameron to hold it but no. I had to be the tough thirteen and within a minute I regret not asking as well as my choice of shoes. On about the tenth step the ladder started to lift away from the wall and I knew I was about to make a fool of myself for the millionth time in front of Cameron. The ladder fell on top of me and broke apart. I might have been able to play it off but when Cameron came running over to me I was still gasping from having the breath knocked out of me. "Are you okay? Do feel like you broke anything? Did you hit your head?" "No I'm fine." I started to sit up but Cameron pushed me right back to the ground. "Hold on you might be hurt let me check you out." "Cameron I'm fine it was only a few feet." "Are you sure?" "Yes. Now we just need to figure out how to get the banner up so that we can leave." I didn't mean to sound like I wanted to get away from her but I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing happening. Actually I could but I didn't want to think about it at the time. Unfortunately my remark seemed to have affected Cameron more than I thought it would, she acted hurt and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her. So despite the risk of sounding like an idiot, I was going to talk to her. "Look Cameron I…" "Do you like me?" My jaw hit the floor. "What…what do you mean?" Cameron started to walk toward me and I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest. "I mean I thought you liked me, like really liked me and now you seem like you can't wait to get rid of me." "No Cameron I don't like you." Cameron stopped a foot away from me and started to turn away. "I don't like you. I'm in love with you that's why I don't want to be around you." The hurt look on her face changed to one of confusion as she looked at me. "That doesn't make any sense." "Yeah I know but that's the way it is and now that I've acted like an idiot in front of you I know that there's no chance that you feel the same way about me so I-" I was cut off by the softest, sweetest lips in existence and I just knew I had died and gone to heaven.


	4. Chapter 4

"Excuse me are you two almost finished decorating in here?" Cameron and I instantly broke apart when we heard the woman's voice. The woman however didn't seem to care about the fact that she just walked in on two women making out. Cameron turned to her blushing and I just shot the woman a glare that I hoped showed her how much hatred I had for her in that moment. When the woman left the room Cameron looked briefly at me then turned and began to clean up the left over decorations. I was shocked. Cameron kissed me and now she wasn't speaking to me. Did she regret it? I hoped not. When she still wouldn't look at me I started to help her in attempt to get back on her good side. I couldn't figure out how I got on her bad side but considering she won't acknowledge me I must have somehow. I kept glancing at Cameron hoping for a response but she avoided my eyes. Eventually we finished and Cameron looked around before she finally looked at me. "Looks like we're done here see you at the fundraiser." By the time she finished her sentence she was out the door. _What the hell just happened?_

The entire time I was driving to my apartment I couldn't help but think of Cameron. Why did she act like that after the kiss? Why did she kiss me in the first place? We barely knew each other. _That didn't stop me from falling in love with her now did it?_ When I got to my apartment I went straight to my bedroom and let myself fall on the mattress. I grabbed a pillow and punched and yelled at it like I was a toddler throwing a fit. After my episode I took a shower then proceeded to find something to wear to the fundraiser. I rarely have trouble finding something but this was hell. Every time I would find something I would wonder what Cameron would think of it. Then I would try to imagine what she was going to wear then of course the kiss would make its way into my thoughts and I would have to force it away again. Finally I gave and decided to wear a simple black dress that I knew I looked good in.

I was surprised when I walked into party to find that I was one of the few people there, I didn't care but I was hoping to see a certain blonde. When I saw that she wasn't around I found a seat at the bar. I stayed there while people started to file into the room. I couldn't help but chuckle when House limped in with a woman who was obviously a hooker on his arm. He took a seat next to me and situated the woman on his lap. "Who's your friend House?" "Her names cherry. She's working her way through college." "How nice of you to help her with that." "Just trying to do my part thirty-one." I was going to continue my conversation with House until I saw the woman I had searched for enter the room. She looked gorgeous and House noticed my attention was no longer on him. When he looked to see what I was looking at he smirked. "Nice choice Thirty-one. Cuddy during the day and Cameron at night, you make daddy so proud." Cameron seemed to be waiting for someone and when I saw who that someone was I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Chase came in right behind Cameron with a grin plastered on his face. House was looking at them too and when Chase linked arms with Cameron the comments started again. "Looks like the wombats got your girl thirty-one. I never thought I'd see the day when the pretty boy would take a girl from my favorite bisexual. What a shame." He was going to continue but at that point I didn't want to hear anymore and I went straight for the door passing Cameron and the pretty boy on my way out. Once I reached my car I sped off toward the nearest bar to find myself a distraction.


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to the familiar sound of a heart monitor, at first I thought I somehow fell asleep in a patients room but when I opened my eyes I found that I was the patient. But why? Besides a headache I felt fine and considering how much I drank last night that's no surprise. I looked around the room to try and find my chart to see what was going on. I discovered a much more surprising site instead. Allison Cameron sleeping in a chair beside my chair; I was shocked and the heart monitor took notice. I tried to relax so it would quiet down and not wake up Cameron but no such luck, the blonde began to stir. I considered pretending to be asleep but I didn't have the chance to even try before Cameron opened her eyes and looked over at me a smile coming across her face. "Hey… How are you feeling?" "Fine. I guess. My head hurts a bit. What happened?" "It seems you fell and hit your head on the sidewalk. You have a concussion and a cut that required a few stitches." _How drunk did I get last night?_ I sat trying to remember anything that happened after I left the fundraiser but everything was fuzzy. "It was pretty obvious that you were under the influence of something so we did a blood test. Remy the level of alcohol in your blood was insane. You should know better than to drink yourself into that kind of state. What happened? Why did you leave last night?" "I'm surprised you noticed that I left seeing as how you were clinging to Chase the second you walked in the door." The second I spoke I regret it. First because raising my voice made my head hurt and second because it told Cameron I was jealous of Chase. Cameron took a breath before moving closer to me. "Remy I'm sorry. It's just Chase keeps asking to get back together since we broke up 2 months ago but I wouldn't ever take him back. Then yesterday…when we kissed I was just so confused so when Chase asked me to the fundraiser, I said yes. I thought that if I was with him I wouldn't think about you but you're all I think about. I have never felt this way about anyone before and I'm scared but if you will give me another chance I'll make sure I don't mess it up this time." Cameron leaned over to wipe the tears from my eyes. Her face was only a few inches from mine and I soon noticed she was getting closer. I stayed frozen with my eyes closed waiting for her sweet lips to meet mine. I could feel her breath on my lips as we neared our second kiss but then… "Allison! What the hell is going on here?! Have you gone mad?" "Chase this is none of your business." "The hell it's not, you're MY girlfriend and you're going around kissing whores like Thirteen! You're making me look like a fool Allison." "No Chase YOU are making yourself look like a fool by coming in here calling me your girlfriend. We are over Chase we have been for months. I want to be with Remy and there is nothing stopping me, and how dare you call her a whore? You stupid good for nothing son of a- " "Dr. Cameron that's enough. I need to see you and Dr. Chase in my office immediately." Chase walked out of the room as soon as the dean finished her sentence. Cameron muttered a tiny "Spineless" under her breath before speaking aloud again. "Cuddy I-" "NO we can talk about this in my office now I want to give Dr. Hadley her rest." Cameron looked at me once more before walking off toward Cuddy's office.


	6. Chapter 6

A couple of hours later a nurse came in to tell me I could head home and that I had the next couple days off courtesy of Cuddy. I was both happy and disappointed that I could leave the hospital. I was happy that I could be left alone in my own space for a while, but I was disappointed that I wouldn't be able to see Allison anytime soon. But on the plus side I also wouldn't have to deal with any potential drama or heartbreak for a while. My head was throbbing already without any outside influence. As soon as I got home I stripped my clothes off and got in the shower careful of the stitches holding my head together. Once I stepped under the water I realized how tense I was. I leant against the wall under the shower head to allow the stream of water to run down my back and relax the sore muscles beneath my skin. As the steam began to fog up my small hideaway I pulled my lips into my mouth searching for any trace of Allison, but when I found none I began to think about the fundraiser and how Chase had easily slid into the place with Allison that I felt belonged to me. I could still feel myself smile however when I thought of the things Allison had said earlier. Even without the wonderful insults thrown at Chase it was still I decent conversation. _Maybe I could have something with Allison after all. _

I didn't know how long I stayed in the shower but the cold water now stinging my flesh told me that it was much too long. After shutting off the water I reached for my favorite fluffy towel and wiped my face with it. I held it there for a minute longer breathing in the fresh scent of my detergent and letting the material warm my chilled skin. I wiped the fog from my mirror although it had already begun to disappear considering my lengthy shower had gone cold long before. I wrapped my towel around my torso and looked at my reflection. I was definitely a sight. The left side of my face was bruised around my stitches from a fall I had no memory of. My eyes were red and slightly swollen perhaps from the tears released in Allison's company. I realized that Allison was the first person to see me cry in years. My tears were saved for the shower where no one could see. My red eyes the only evidence of my sadness but even the obvious sign of distress was disregarded as a night of too much alcohol and too little sleep. Sometimes I find it even more saddening that no one seemed to care but after years of closing myself off it's probably best if no one knows what goes on in my head, if they don't know they can't use it against me; they can't hurt me. But what about Allison? If she knew the real me what would she do? Would she rip open the wounds from the past or would she stitch them up with care and place a sweet healing kiss upon them? I was both scared and anxious to find out.


End file.
